Giddiup Giddiup Giddiup!!!! Rani Jhansi of Laxmi rode down the school corridor only to be confronted by Father D'mello who drew out his caliber .7 and tried to shoot Rani Jhansi's stallion right between the eyes only to be attacked by Hanuman from behind who clobbered Father D'mello head with his 'gadha'....in all this the church door opened and out came Nirmala Ma'am holding a cane in one and her favorite 'Hindi gadya-padya' book in her other hand....In all this commotion Rani jhansi's place on the horse was suddenly taken up by Nisha Fernandez, the new cute looking girl in class, who yodeled at the top of her voice , " Main apni Jhansi nahin doongiiiiiiiiiiii"…when suddenly a piece of meteor from space hit me right on my temple !!!.
On opening my eyes, I was suddenly transferred to the World of Sister Angelo’s English grammar class in room 302 B. With Sister Angelo’s piercing my existence from her thick horn-rimmed glasses, instead of that black shiny stallion I found himself seated next to Joel D’cunha who was now laughing like an cross breed of an horse and a hyena. Gone was Hanuman as well as Rani Jhansi of Laxmi …or was it Rani Laxmi of Jhansi? Nor was Father D’mello nowhere to be seen. Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I arose from my seat to walk next to Sista’ Angelo’s desk, who by now raising hell by shouting aloud in her Anglo-Indian accent ……” MR. PANDEY, THIS IS THE LAST AND THE FINAL TIME, I WARN YOU...THE NEXT TIME I FOUND YOU DOZING IN MY CLASS I’LL STRAIGHT AWAY MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE EXPELLED FROM THIS INSTITUTION FOR ATLEAST 2 WEEKS SO THAT YOU MAY FULFIL YOUR QUOTA OF SLEEP AND AFTER THAT COME AND ATTEND MY CLASS”. By now more than half the class had had their ears covered by anything they could find handy.
The walk towards the desk was quite wet, with Sista’ D’mello saliva drenching everything that came in its path. The volume of the saliva increased proportionally with the stressed phonetics of the language. By the time the my journey from the last bench towards the podium ended, I had realized the importance of a certain thing which in the past hung around my neck like a snake strangling my breath, the thing Father D’mello called as the “Pride of Saint Peters”, the honorable school tie….which today was serving me purpose for cleaning my spit-splattered face, with me having forgot my handkerchief at home. A curse or a blessing in disguise is a question which had started tormenting now. My question was soon answered as Sister D’mello pulled me towards her by my tie and started yelling in my face, “MR. PANDEY…..OR DO I CALL YOU BIPIN …HOW DARE YOU SLEEP IN MY CLASS ?..HAVE YOU GOT NO RESPECT FOR YOUR ESTEEMED TEACHERS.....OR DOES MY VOICE REMIND OF YOUR MOTHER’S